I’m a horrible person. I’m giving too much hope to people. People trust me and tell me their secrets. I just act like I don’t care…. I do care but I don’t have so strong feelings to them as they do have to me. I care about them in a completely different way, and it hurts me when I know I’m probably going to hurt them. I have no idea how it ended up like this. I really would like to be a good friend to everybody… Why does it all has to be so hard? I just… Maybe I should take a break from everything: school,choir, guitar… Everything, just me and myself and my thoughts. You should take everything away from me and only give me a pen and a pencil.
Why am I such a horrible person?
Why do I hurt people like that?
It hurts me…
Eats me inside…
What has happened to me?
What happened with the happy little girl inside of me?
The girl who was nice,
The girl who didn’t hurt anyone…
This girl has been killed…
Killed by her own demons living inside of her…
She and her demons,
Demons and she…
Now there’s only negativity left,
Sadness, stress, insecurity, anxiety.
All of this in her little heart.
A heart which was full of happiness….
This picture is added here as a reminder because right now world has changed my smile. I really hate that anything can make perfectly happy me so unhappy and sad… Sometimes I would just press the reset button. Is that possible?