Today we had another concert. I shall edit the video and then I might upload it even though this is one of the worst performances we’ve had so far. Anyways today’s topic is a lot different.
This was the thought of the day? Where do I belong? I’m sure that very many people ask that from themselves and I’ve understood that I don’t belong here, I mean the country. Don’t worry I wouldn’t be able to do anything to myself.
I just feel like I’m not accepted here as a person and the few friends I have here are surprised about it too. For example today my band mate was surprised that I haven’t kissed anyone, for me it makes complete sense because:
- I’m just 16, who goes around at 16 or younger kissing people.
- My boyfriend is in US
- Even if I didn’t have a boyfriend then no one here would like me enough.
I mean don’t get me wrong. I totally completely am in love with Josh, ask him if you don’t believe me. I guess I should also tell you why I feel like I don’t fit in. There are several reasons for that also:
- I don’t have many local friends. I have many aquaintances who can tolerate me but I don’t trust them as much and they don’t trust me as much.
- The general public don’t really accept me. I feel like I’m a monster… I guess it’s due to my looks or something…
- I’ve always been the outcast. I’ve noticed that with being an outcast you’ll pretty much be that your whole life. I don’t really mind that. I’m used to proving people that I’m not a failure so I could keep on doing that.
- I haven’t found a safe place here. So what I mean by that is that I don’t have a place I could hide when I need to be alone or something. I used to have my room but it stopped being my safe place a long time ago.
To be honest I hoped to understand if I belong here or not but I only got even more confused. I guess that’s the thing with my posts… Usually I get more confused.
Hope you enjoyed 🙂