Right now I’m in a very weird state. I’m super worried about school yet I don’t really care at all. Also I’ve been recently talking to the coolest people ever yet they’re the biggest losers ever (I mean the people I talk to here in Estonia, you online peeps are amazing).
I’m just not sure if this is what I want to do with my life. It feels like I’m drifting away from my somewhat “zen” lifestyle and am becoming a person I’ve never wanted to…
I just feel very lost with my future. I don’t know what I want to do (well I do but this isn’t socially acceptable) and I’m just so lost. I’m not even sure if high school is the right choice for me.
I have just been blaming myself again, it has been pretty bad again. My attraction to sharp objects is back. I guess I should write my psychologist but usually when I have a problem she doesn’t have free time and when she has free time then my busy life has already washed away my worries.
I just need some guidance again, because right now I’m drifting in the wrong direction. I’m just letting the flow drag me on not neccessarily going with the flow. I think this has caused me to be with the wrong kind of people for me…
To be honest I don’t even know where I’m trying to get to with this post. I just am writing some stuff to let it all go. I’m not really happy with the current situation and I don’t really know what to do with it either.
Hope you enjoyed this a bit more depressed post.