So this post is about something that I’ve been thinking about for a while and also the whole day today. This will touch a bit on the travelling aspect and also a bit on the situation at home aspect.
I’m not sure if I’m the only one but every time I travel and come back (usually) a week later everything in my life has gotten worse. I always enjoy the trip itself (read about my latest trip here) but afterwards I get really bad emotionally. Almost every time I come back I get depressed just from the stressful atmosphere at home. I find it really sad and I don’t really know what to do about it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my family but sometimes they’re so bad that they suck all of the will for life out of me. Recently I’ve found that shutting myself completely off is what helps. Just minding my own business until someone fusses with me and if they do then just act like they asked me to and then go back to my own life. I know it’s so wrong and that I shouldn’t do it at all but this is what seems to be happening.
After a week or two I get used to the situation at home and the anguish I feel about being at home but now it makes me only worse. Is it really that England left such a good impression and I want to get back there already just because it felt so much more like home or am I just trying to escape from all the shit that’s going on my life? I actually have so so so so many questions about the whole topic and I don’t seem to get the answers for them. My doubtful suggestion would be to move to England and try to work myself up there, sometimes I feel like growing up under someone else’s (or my own care) will be what would help me a lot but then again isn’t that what all teenagers say? I honestly don’t want to make any mistakes but I also don’t know how to escape it all…
If anyone of you has any suggestions or wants to discuss this whole topic then I’m more than happy to listen to your opinions on it.