I’m back with another blog post, this time about some more parties. I honestly don’t know what to write. It’s like I want to write and like I don’t want to write because this time I felt like I made myself stupid in front of my friends. Can I hide?

I don’t even know why I organised it all because the original idea was to send summer away with a bang but that didn’t happen and I should’ve just cancelled it but I didn’t and I don’t know why and now I somewhat regret. I feel like I’m searching for somekind of “help” with drinking and occasionally smoking and I hate myself for that because I know it’s wrong and I know I shouldn’t. I guess it is how it is and I have to try to fight with it because I’m seeing some light within all the darkness.

Now about some of the things that happened. So I had some of my classmates and friends over. We played Never Have I  Ever and it was quite funny and interesting to find out all the weird things that people have done.

I honestly think that today was way more fun though just because more things happened. Unfortunately I can’t put up all of those pictures here. You can check some of them out on my instagram though.

20150912_125021My friend Andrea did most of the makeup. I look really different, I’m not sure if I’d do make up like that myself but I’m considering changing my look a bit and this would be perfect.

I feel like I’m being a bit more accepted but I honestly doubt. I get anxious if my friends talk to some other people around me and I don’t know what it’s about. I’m really paranoid about that. I think that soon I might be in a situation where I only talk to Josh because he’s the only person who I don’t doubt in and who calms me. It’s actually really sad that I doubt in Jess, Pony and Mike and everyone else who have been there for me when I needed it the most.

Have a song with this post.

I guess we all have to  what will happen, This is all for now, I hope you enjoyed.
Ann :3