There are a few questions I would like to get answers to. I know I should ask them form people directly but I honestly don’t feel like I have the strength to. To be completely honest I’m not even sure if I have the strength to write about it all but I’ll try…
So I’m back in the doubting phase. It’s the place where I doubt almost everything about me which is bad I know, especially if we consider my past. I’ve had so many unpleasant moments and I don’t want any of those to happen again so I’m just hoping I can move on without getting really depressed again.
I have been really strict with myself meaning that I’m having doubts in myself. Mostly about my compatibility to living. I’m not saying this in a depressed way. I know it sounds like it but what I’m actually trying to say is that I’ll probably always be the weird one of the squad.
Today I was really hurt when I tried to help a person I thought trusted me and took me as a friend but I guess I was wrong… I was just told off… A few more things happened and they made my point stand stronger. I feel like whoever I talk to or whichever people I join I’m still somehow out of place and it really bothers me. I don’t know what to do and it’s really really sad.
Another thing I’ve been doubting about is my looks and this is a weird one. I don’t necessarily think I’m ugly but whenever I get a compliment I’d like to go into a corner and cry. It’s really hard to explain that thought but this is how it is. I’m actually really disappointed in my own latest results so this might be the reason but I have no idea.
The last burning thing on my mind is an actual question. Why me? I want to ask it from everyone and most of the time I get an answer I’m not satisfied with which is kinda sad.
These are some of the reasons why I’ve been feeling meh lately. I hope this helped you in any way.