Today I was listening to music from my phone. Just like I usually do but since now I have several playlists on my phone I came to a realisation of why I might be feeling the way I described in the last post.
I was thinking about all of my friends some of which you can’t really call friends but that’s a story for another time. I do talk to a lot of different people and most of them are different from the things they like to their social position. The thing about that is the fact that I don’t feel like I fit into any of those groups. I don’t feel comfortable in any. I’m not sure if it is my ego or not but I feel like I’m a special edition.
The next part will be very stereotypical but I don’t really know how else to explain it but I’ll try my best.
So most of my school friends are “elite”. They do act differently than my other friends. We all act more mature despite the place we are. Then there are the music people, they are the completely different kind of people. They all are very open and musical and cool. Then there are the geeky guys who are all really awesome etc etc…
I feel like I don’t fit in any of those groups. I try to but I don’t feel comfortable in any. This can be from the fact that when I was little I used to move around a lot and didn’t have a chance to settle down anywhere properly. I don’t feel completely like the city girl but I also don’t feel like I belong to the countryside.
The same goes for different social groups. I’m not the cool kid, nor the geek. I’m not the outcast yet I’m not completely accepted. I know I shouldn’t think like that but feeling more comfortable around the people I’m forced to spend time with for a really long time is kinda necessary…
It’s the same with in real life friends because it seems that all of the online friends I have I’ve managed to keep (I’m not saying I feel completely like I belong in their group but they seem to think otherwise so I’m not complaining). It’s kinda weird with the online people anyways. They are the dearest to me but then again I feel like I’m from a completely different world. It’s hard to explain to be honest.
I think it’s all for now. I hope I didn’t hurt anyone with this post. I hope this post also made some sense because it all makes sense in my head.