This will probably be a short post because I’m writing it from my phone.

Today I wanted to talk to you a bit on the health topic again. It’s a bit of mental health and a bit of physical health.

Recently I have been having not so happy times in regards of those two topics because other aspects of my life are pretty good. I’m happy with Karl and my school and band life is fine too. But health is the thing I want to focus on.

I am a bit worried about it because things that never have happened before are happening to me. My weight loss idea has gone to shit, even though Karl tries to help with it. I lack the motivation because I know I can’t perform well at all. I would love to work out but I don’t do it alone and I’m too embarrassed to do it with someone else. This is connected to mental health in the sense that my body image is perfect and when I try to do the things I’d love to I fail or get injured and the reality hits me really hard. This makes me go back to my room and listen to music or something like that.

All of that discouragement has led to me fucking up my health even more…

Recently there has been this thing with my eyes where they dry up. They’re so dry that I look like I’m high or sth which makes me even more worried.

The people who have been reading this blog for a while know that I have tried a lot of different things and deep in my mind I know that I want to do it on my own. Right now it’s in the point where I just don’t care nor know what or how to proceed…

The inner Ann is just screaming Help!