I wanted to tell you about that time in my life when everything started to roll down hill again, only this time I only know what is happening but not what caused it.

I know what I want to achieve in my life, somewhat utopic ideas but they would work.

My main idea would be just be free, free of all the addictions I currently have, free of my mind in the sense that I am happy and that I can make all of my ideas come true, free in the sense that I am not working in some stupid job, free from all the distractions.

I want my life to work as sufficiently as it possibly can. That’s all I want from my life, well there’s a bit more but this is the general outline.

I want to get rid of all of the negativity in my life because right now it feels like I am just collecting more and more of it.

I know I have some addictions and I will talk more about them in my health confessions post that will be up sometimes net week, I haven’t planned the day yet. I should write about also American Beauty so that health post will be after that.

This post is about different things though.

I wanted to tell you waht my life has become. I have become a no one basically. I do nothing, I am nothing and I just do stuff so that the day would pass.

I have pretty much turned emotionless. I don’t really feel happy nor sad. I just exist and it’s so sad. Especially after the drama I had after one of the blog posts. I feel like the enjoyment in writing and doing anything literary has been taken from me.

I just don’t know anymore…

 

 

Advertisements