Hello again!

I’m back with another post and I know recently all of my posts have been about weight loss but this is what is my main goal of this year and what right now causes a lot of happiness but also stress to me.

With this post I don’t want to say that weight loss is not worth it. With these 4kg lost I can already tell you how much it is worth it, the little things that have changed matter so much but I also want to bring out some things that I have regained that make this so much harder. It’s not like it’s gonna stop me from doing it but this is what makes me wonder whether it is worth it or not (despite me knowing it in my head that it is).

So they will be listed in random order like last time and if I feel like I need to explain then I will.

  • Getting back emotions
    • As much as I love feeling all sorts of feelings that I used to eat away, I hate it. I have so many emotions that I don’t know how to handle. Especially the negative ones like feeling stressed, depressed, sad or anxious.
  • Getting even more critical
    • Recently I’ve become even more critical about my looks but also about other things. For example the way I spend my time, it makes me critical but the old habits are so in my system still that my body is not physically in the place where my mind is and therefore my self-criticism is so high which from there on makes me sad. Being critical about my looks is kind of straight forward but it also brings me to my next point.
  • The impatience about weight loss and unhealthy thoughts about it
    • So since I’ve come quite far already with my weight loss. I know some of you may say that 4kg is not that much considering how much you still have to lose, then for me it’s quite far because it’s a bit more than 3 weeks of changing habits and making conscious efforts about it. But I’ve started to realise that I have gotten some obsessive thoughts about it. I don’t think it’s something to worry about it yet but I need to start acknowledging that at some point I need to sit down with myself and make myself understand that some of my thought patterns are not okay. Also maybe search for professional help even, which sounds also like a smart idea.

In general I can’t say I’m struggling too much. I think right now is just the time where the old habits are screaming at me because they know that they are about to lose the battle inside me so it’s making me a bit unstable. I am really proud of myself and I hope that the amount of weight that I have lost so far will start to show and I will get my glowy personality back.

Ann :3

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