So today you will be reminded of something that used to be a part of my regular schedule. Today I will revisit and you will see what my old blog format used to be.
I want to touch upon my feelings a bit more, especially now when I feel like an utter mess. I know I should focus on my emotions more, because it is my way of therapy, but since my blog has changed so much during the past few years then sometimes I do feel like I shouldn’t write about things like that.
I feel like the alone little girl who started this blog. I am lost, lonely and struggling with most of the things around me. I have more theories and knowledge what causes it.
Now before I go on… I know I can tell you all that but I think all of you know why I don’t.
I am just kind of feeling like a worthless little thing. I want to hide away in the darkness and never come out. I’m constantly tired and I am constantly alone in my mind. I don’t want to tell people because a part of me knows how silly it is. On the other hand I just feel like I’m drowning and I need someone to pull me above the water.
In addition to all of the emotional shit then I’ve developed allergies and it’s a total pain to be at home but then again, I have no where else to be.
I know all of this sounds like complaining, maybe I just need to complain. Maybe it’s not complaining but the crippling feeling of being abandoned or well just thrown away like a used cloth.
I mean there are people who I do hang out with and if you’d see me around people, you wouldn’t really say that I feel what I feel. I don’t tend to show feelings like this but once I am alone I’m like a cripple, physically, mentally, inside, outside….
I do have a few theories, why now, why these feelings but honestly, I feel like they’re too silly to share, and maybe this isn’t even the life I’m meant to fulfill the task my soul has been given…