I haven’t been writing much but I think it’s time to come back. I feel like it’s time to come back to my roots and really start writing about my emotions, life events, fears and ideas. I don’t think I will ever become one of those blogger who is going to earn money or do something extremely important with my blog, mainly because of the reasons it was created in the beginning. My blog was created to be my escape route from all of the negativity in my life and a way for me to not bottle up my feelings.
This summer has been full of weird events that have been making me think, things that have been unexpected and things that I didn’t think were going to happen to me. The most effect on my life have caused the most recent events. They have shaped me, made me doubt and made me open my eyes, also have given me new perspectives on life and made me understand the other side of the story a bit more than I used to.
Amongst other things I’ve understood what is important in my life right now and what I wanna get out from my life. I’ve understood that right now I want to focus on fixing everything that’s out of place in my life and educating myself. Expressing the worth other people see in me and making myself believe that as well. I want to fix the relationships worth fixing and get rid of the poisonous relationships.
I want to take the advice I’ve been given the past few days and put it to use. I want to take the full potential I have and use it because over the past few months I’ve gotten some quite useful information about myself through the eyes of other people. People who have given advice to me have had somewhat of psychic abilities and they also have just been people with a lot of experience but also my close friends. All of the people have been someone I look up to and whose opinion I respect and am very grateful for.
I’ve been described as a broken gear. Running fine half of the time and failing to operate the other half of it. Now taking from the advice from the past few days I’ve made some conclusions. I think that in order to fix the gear of life in me I have to get rid of bad habits, doubts and fears. I have to get out of my comfort zone and find the serenity I need.
I don’t know how far I am from it but I know that a bit of work with my mental state and changing my lifestyle in general will get me into that state. I also think that my support system aka the people I can go to when I need the advice is quite strong, my understanding of what a support system has to be has changed a lot. Previously, I thought that a support system meant that I needed a relationship and that the other person should carry me through the hard times and fix my sometimes completely shattered soul. Now it’s completely different, no-one can carry me through the hard times and fix me besides myself and the support system is there to give me possible solutions on how to get over the struggles of life.
All in all this summer, especially the past month, has changed me a lot. I’m thankful for the people who have helped me to figure myself out and given me the advice I needed and was looking for.
I am my own person now and I know I will fix myself soon.